There is a voice in your head that loves to talk. It reviews every message, questions every choice, and asks for one more sign before you move. There is also a quieter voice that simply knows. Sometimes it pushes you to leave a room, sometimes it pulls you toward a person, sometimes it says “this is not right for me” long before your mind can explain why.
Both live inside you. The hard part is telling which one is speaking.
Many women describe this confusion in the same way.
“Is this my intuition or is this just anxiety.”
If you grew up needing to be pleasing, logical, and easy to understand, you may have learned to trust the loud, rational sounding voice more than the soft, body based one. Yet psychologists and trauma experts often point out that intuition is a real form of information. It is your nervous system picking up patterns and signals faster than your thinking mind can, something the American Psychological Association has written about when discussing implicit learning and gut feeling.
So how do you tell the difference between a true inner signal and another round of overthinking.
How intuition usually feels
Intuition often arrives quickly and quietly. It is less like a long speech and more like a brief inner weather report.
Sometimes it feels like a gentle pull in your chest that says “yes.”
Sometimes it feels like a small tightness in your stomach that says “no.”
Sometimes it feels like a clear sentence that drops into your mind once and then relaxes.
The message might be serious, such as “do not get into that car,” or simple, like “text her back, she is not angry.” After the signal lands, the body may still feel nervous, especially if the choice is big. Yet underneath the nerves there is a steady sense of “this is true for me.”
Intuition is usually specific and present focused. It responds to what is happening now. It does not need to list every worst case scenario. It simply points toward the next honest step.
How overthinking usually feels
Overthinking is a different experience. It rarely arrives once. It loops.
The overthinking voice repeats the same question in many forms.
“What if I am wrong.”
“What if they hate me.”
“What if I choose this and then regret it forever.”
Your body often feels more stirred up. Heart rate rises, breath becomes quick and shallow, and you may feel restlessness in your arms and legs. The mind tries to solve the anxiety with more thinking, which keeps the cycle alive. You imagine ten possible futures and feel responsible for avoiding every single one.
Overthinking is usually vague and future focused. It jumps ahead to catastrophes. It clings to certainty and wants a guarantee before you take any step at all.
A gentle test: body truth versus body alarm
One simple way to separate the two is to ask how your body reacts after the first thought appears.
When a message is intuitive, your body may feel sad, relieved, or nervous, yet there is a sense of alignment. Your shoulders drop a little. Your breath becomes deeper. Even if the truth is hard, something inside you relaxes because you have stopped pretending.
When a message is driven by anxiety, your body often feels more disturbed over time. The more you think, the more clenched your jaw becomes and the more your chest tightens. You may feel a rush of heat in your face or a cold feeling in your stomach. After thirty minutes of overthinking you feel smaller and more helpless than before.
Neither state makes you a good or bad person. Both are normal nervous system responses. The difference is that one is trying to guide you, and the other is trying to protect you by keeping you stuck.
Slowing down enough to hear the real answer
It is almost impossible to hear intuition when you are scrolling your phone, answering messages, and rereading chats. To hear your inner signal you need a little space.
You can start with one minute. Put the phone down and place both feet on the floor or both hands on your chest. Inhale through your nose and let your belly rise, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this a few times until your breath feels a little less sharp.
Now bring the situation to mind and ask a simple question.
“If I already knew the answer inside me, what would it be.”
Notice what your body does during the first three seconds. A small sense of yes or no often appears before the thinking voice returns. You do not have to act on it immediately. You are practising listening, not forcing yourself.
If you enjoy journaling, you can also write two short letters. One begins with “Dear Intuition.” The other begins with “Dear Anxiety.” Let each voice speak on the page. The intuitive one will usually use fewer words and feel more grounded. The anxious one will often predict many disasters. Seeing them in writing can help you tell them apart.
Using pleasure as a compass
Intuition does not only speak through fear. It also speaks through pleasure, attraction, and curiosity. When you are deeply in your head, you may forget that your body carries wisdom about what feels good and nourishing.
On evenings when you want to reconnect with that wisdom, you can design a slow sensual ritual that has nothing to do with performance and everything to do with listening. Dim the lights, move more slowly, and explore what your skin enjoys without pressure to respond in any particular way.
Intimate tools can support this practice. A soft session with a rabbit vibrator or a wand vibrator from SHEVEREIGN can become less about chasing release and more about asking “What actually feels like yes in my body.” You are letting your nervous system learn that pleasure can be safe, gentle, and under your control.
As you explore different sensations, notice where your body naturally leans in and where it pulls away. That pattern is also intuition. Over time, recognising a clear body yes in private moments can make it easier to recognise a body yes in conversations, work, and relationships.
If you prefer external guidance, many sexual health educators and therapists talk about the value of knowing your own response patterns. For example, a recent clinical article on women’s sexual health discusses how understanding arousal patterns can support emotional wellbeing. There is nothing shallow about using vibrators for women as tools for self knowledge. They can be part of a wider emotional healing journey.
When to get extra support
There are times when anxiety is so loud that self help tools are not enough. If you notice that you cannot make daily decisions, cannot sleep, or feel constantly on edge, it may be time to ask for professional support. Therapists and counsellors are trained to help you calm the nervous system and rebuild trust with your own inner signals.
Reaching out does not mean your intuition has failed. It means you are willing to give it a safer home.
Learning to trust your inner yes and no
Telling the difference between overthinking and intuition is a skill, not a talent. You are allowed to practise. You are allowed to get it wrong sometimes. You are allowed to change your mind as you learn more.
Each time you pause, breathe, and ask your body what it knows, you strengthen that inner connection. Each time you choose a small action that feels honest, even if you are still a bit scared, you build a track record of self trust.
Over time, the anxious voice may still appear, but it will no longer be the only one in charge. There will also be a steadier voice that says, “You know more than you think. You are allowed to listen to yourself.”
That is intuition.